Funny Pages #11

Another weak, early issue from Centaur Publishing doesn't give me a lot to talk about.

There is the Natural History 2-page spread, with the theme of elephants. Wooly mammoths were statted in Book II: Mobsters & Trophies, but elephants have not been yet. As previously mentioned, elephants will finally get a stat entry in the upcoming Supplement V, but even that will only be for African elephants.  For more variety, treat an Asian elephant as having 5 HD, a pygmy elephant as having 3 HD...

 ...treat mastodons the same as wooly mammoths, but treat imperial mammoths as 11 HD and Colombian mammoths as 12 HD (all d12 Hit Dice, of course).

Sometimes you don't have to go in search of a hideout -- sometimes you accidentally fall into one while skiing. Now, you could take the time to research Indian burial practices and find out they didn't build tombs and start from scratch with a new idea, or you could just ignore facts and build an underground hideout around a tomb, and stock it with all kinds of Indian-like artifacts like totem poles and really wicked, demonic hatchets that are probably +1 or better -- look at that thing!  OR, maybe it's not an Indian burial mound at all, but belongs to some secret race only being discovered now...

(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum)

Funny Pages #10

Let's open this post with one of those educational pages the old comic used to love padding their page count out with. Weasels have a reputation for being nasty - as this author seems to agree with -- but the average weasel is just too small to do much harm to someone, even if it would attack a person. I'd rate them, generously, as 1-2 hit points and able to do that much in damage by biting.  Otters are 1/2 HD animals, while arctic foxes would be 1-1 HD. Minks are too small to rate as dangerous.

Jimmy, of Jimmy and Jean, seems to be extraordinarily lucky here.  First he lucks out with a mobster who can't tie knots well, and then when he needs a weapon he finds floorboards that are easily pulled out.  Both might be instances of an overly generous Editor, but could just as easily be a combination of proactive playing and lucky dice rolls.  If one of my players asked me if his Hero could wriggle free from the ropes binding him, rather than just say no, I might allow a save vs. science or plot for success.  And if my player really wanted a floorboard for a weapon (though I don't know why e wouldn't just use the chair), then a save vs. plot might determine if he can find one rotten enough to dislodge.

In the Mythic West, starting a barroom brawl might only get you a $12 fine, as it does here for the Red Avenger.



(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum)

Funny Pages #8

Not much to report from this month's Funny Pages...

Just like the aviation genre was really all about the planes, some creators tried to invent a nautical genre that was all about the boats, and the jargon of sailors. Jerry Frost here teaches us exactly what a sloop is, which turns out to be a useful trophy item.

Not technically a goat joke, but again -- we have goats.

Skipper Ham Shanks and his pals learn about the wow bird -- part mobster/part trophy item. The wow bird is like a living lie detector.

And, being a Centaur comic book, there's rampant racism. Remember their motto:  if it's Centaur, it's racist.

And here's the bird itself.  As a non-combatant animal, it probably wouldn't get statted at all, but would either be considered a living trophy or a Supporting Cast Member, if the Editor wanted to ever roleplay a flightless bird that shouts "wow".

(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum)

Funnies #7

Robbers (found in Hideouts & Hoodlums Book II: Mobsters & Trophies) are a little boring, game mechanic-wise. They need some of the skills of the Mysteryman class, like open locks.

The Spinner tells a story of a deep-sea diver. Old-fashioned diving suits and acetlyene (cutting) torches are found in Book II.

Bighorn rams would be 2 HD animals.

Windy's talking crow gets him into trouble. But is it a mobster?  It's too small to even have a hit point.  It's not a trap, though it does get Windy into considerable trouble. No, it's a Supporting Cast Member!  SCMs do not have to be friendly or even supportive; you (the player) just have to be responsible for pulling them into your scenario. This talking crow could have just been the Editor's flavor text, but Windy's player decided to take it with him (after a successful recruitment roll) for the XP gain or simply just something to interact with in-character.

Another goat?  I need to go back and start a running tally!  Seriously, Golden Age, how many jokes do you really think you can get out of a goat?

Hobos are tough in a fight!  Did I err in never statting them as a mobster-type?  They're good at stealing things, too.  Or should this hobo simply be statted as a robber?

One of the advantages of having all weapons do the same damage is that Hezzy of the Hills can throw a rock and it's just as effective as shooting a gun at someone (except for range).  This, in actual practice, has never prevented H&H Heroes from stockpiling firearms but, sigh, it's a start.

(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum)

Comics Magazine #5

This is a page of Age of Stone and as highly improbable as this combat is, a more realistic combat in Hideouts & Hoodlums likely would have ended with this cavewoman crushed to death by this cave bear! Cave bears are mentioned in Book II: Mobsters & Trophies, as having more Hit Dice than brown bears.

No, that price in the window isn't a joke. I reviewed old menus from the 1940s (like on sites like this one) and found that there were diners circa 1940 where you could get a nice dinner for a dollar.

This page of Natural History meshes well with H&H, in that Book II featured a fair assortment of prehistoric mammals for the game (and dinosaurs were largely left for the supplements). Though informative, I still don't particularly feel that prehistoric horses need to be statted for the game.



(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum)

Comics Magazine #4

According to Poss, all lieutenants have mustaches. Keep that in mind, Fighters, when you reach 4th level (level title: lieutenant)!

Yes, it's hard to take a feature as goofy as Age of Stone seriously, but this idea of fishing for electric eels and using them as weapons might have some merit, particularly if the Heroes have to bypass a guardian in a pit or a tunnel too small for the Heroes to get into.

Giant eels appear in Supplement II: All-American, but they are giant conger eels and not electric eels. Making the change should be easy, maybe dropping the Hit Dice to 2+1 and adding 1d6 of electricity damage when they hit.

Despite what Freddie Bell, He Means Well would have you believe, popping balloons should not cause damage. Spankings, maybe, depending on how hard someone is hitting (1-3 points maximum).

A 1' long tarantula sure would scare me, but it wouldn't even rate a single hit point in how Hideouts & Hoodlums works (in case you're wondering, an animal needs to weigh around 30 lbs. to warrant a hp).

It's interesting, though, how the spider seems to be making them dance. In a certain edition of That Other Game (Frank Mentzer would know which one I'm referring to) is a pun-laden monster called the tarantella spider.

This page of Natural History talks about moose. As funny as moose are, they never seem to get the love that goats get in these early comic books.

Now, according to Wikipedia, moose are more dangerous than bears and wolves, so it looks like we have another herbivore that needs statting for equal representation. Moose I would give 4+1 HD and allow to trample for 2-8 points of damage.

This page of Klondike Gold almost cries out for a brutal fumbles chart added to the combat mechanics, but I am loathe to add such a thing to H&H.  I think we have to chalk this up to Doc actually hitting, but the switch of weapons for irony being mere flavor text.

This is not the first Dickie Duck; the first "star" anthropomorphic animal created for comic books to rate a cover appearance had been slinking through the back pages of at least two publishers already. I include him here only to demonstrate how, in a certain type of campaign, funny animal characters and humans could live together.



(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum)

Comics Magazine #3

While not scintillating drama, this page of The Further Adventures of Jane & Johnny does well illustrate three combat turns in Hideouts & Hoodlums.  Turn 1 is a surprise turn, won by the outlaw.  But he misses! (maybe rolled an 8 on his 20-sided die?)

On turn 2, Captain Bill can act. His movement intentions are to just get off the horse and behind cover, which the Editor rules is close enough nearby that he can do both in the same move. Rather than shoot at Bill while he has the benefit of cover, the outlaw forfeits his attack roll for this turn and moves instead, to get closer. Bill's player also develops the "boot plan" before turn 3 begins.

Now, technically, only a Mysteryman should be able to move silently behind an opponent like that and get another chance at surprise, but Bill's player asks his Editor to go easy on him and give the outlaw a save vs. plot to avoid being fooled by the boot plan.  The Editor goes along with it, the outlaw fails (unlucky dice rolls!), and then Bill succeeds at his surprise roll for turn 3.

On surprise turn 3, Bill may have missed a save vs. plot to shoot a man in the back (very un-heroic!), so now his player is hoping that the outlaw next fails his morale save, rather than turn around and shoot it out.

There is, incidentally, no mobster-type called Outlaw; this is likely a Chaotic Cowboy instead.

Alley Oop's animal of the day is -- oops, that's not Alley Oop, but a disturbingly Chibi Manga-like Alley Oop knock-off.  Anyway, it does feature an archaeopteryx, and the first in comic books. Should that get it statted? Actually, archaeopteryx was so small, it wouldn't even warrant a single hit point.  Maybe an archaeopteryx swarm would be a threat, like a big enough bat swarm...

Now, woolly mammoths, on the other hand, are a worthy challenge for Heroes, and are in fact already statted in Book II: Mobsters & Trophies. There's also -- huh?  Kangaroos and chimpanzees?  Oh well.  By coincidence, both of these will be statted in the upcoming Supplement V.

Yeah. This page has nothing to do with H&H, other than to demonstrate how much I go through to support the scholarly content of H&H and this blog. The early Comics Magazine/Centaur comics are just astonishingly racist sometimes, and I'm aware of the blackface tradition this stems from, but this page is just so racist it could make a KKK member blush with shame.

And I do it for little gems like this.  Who doesn't want to stock their hideouts with two-headed pigs now?  I'd make it 1+1 HD and give it just one bite attack, though.

Cougars were statted in Book III: Better Quality.

The stats for bears in Book II: Mobsters & Trophies is intended for brown bears. Black bears should "just" be 6 Hit Dice.

Frontier Justice -- the source for the Raise Posse Stunt for the Cowboy class.

Lastly, we have the Sapphire Eye of Sehkmet, a gem that sounds like it functions as a magic Ring of X-Ray Vision.



(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum at http://digitalcomicmuseum.com/index.php?dlid=15437)