Amazing Mystery Funnies #19 - pt. 2

We're back, looking at Basil Wolverton's Space Patrol. Or is that pronounced Spaaaaace Patrol!? Last time, I was talking about Mercurians and lamenting that there was nothing unique enough about them to warrant statting them, but here we learn that Mercurians have thick rubbery hides - enough to warrant an AC of 6, 2 Hit Dice, and maybe even a -1 to blunt damage attacks against them, I'm thinking.

Last time I speculated about how I'd stat the Mercurian Mole-Men, and suggested they should be faster than normal. But if they can't catch two men in heavy armor, then I'm going to actually downgrade them to a Move of 9, while keeping their sleight of hand skill. And maybe they need some kind of burrowing skill - not that we see them use it, but because they are mole men?

Dryaks are going into the Mobster Manual first chance I get. They're enormous; I'd guess that critter must be at least 7' in diameter and 50' long (including the tail)? And if an atomic needle pistol can't pierce its hide, we may be talking an AC of 1 or lower! It attacks by bite, which probably does significant damage (maybe 3-18 points?), and I'd be willing to assign it at least 10 Hit Dice based on its slight resemblance to a D&D remorhaz. 

Interestingly, the dryak is not immune to fire, which you'd think would be a prerequisite for living on Mercury, but that's not the worst plot hole here, as our two heroic law enforcement agents, instead of trying to bring the criminals to justice, decide to roast them in a volcanic eruption. Hey, less paperwork, right? 

I think the obvious explanation here is that this story is too big for its page count and corners had to be cut sharply at the end. A lot of golden age stories suffer this. For a Hideouts & Hoodlums campaign to emulate that, scenarios need to have strict time limits, instead of continuing on to the next session, with the Editor wrapping it up by the most expedient method possible before the session ends. With no consequences (other than maybe missing out on collecting more treasure and trophies...)! 

sigh. After Basil Wolverton art it's a little hard to look at The Inner Circle again. At least I get to show off my high school-level French skills. The clerk is saying "You have your permit now." The native boy says "with me!"

Angcok Island is a fictitious name, which is just as well since it sounds ridiculous, and this is when there are real islands off Madagascar with names like Big, Crab, Klang, Pisang, Pom Pom, and Wan Man. This is one of those situations where you can't win; if you used a real name, people would probably assume you're making it up anyway.

On this page we learn a trick for how to make a compass screw up. There's also an interesting twist with the woman in the party, as we learn here she is an unwilling accomplice. It also seems to give our bad guy no allies, making this a pretty easy scenario.

 

I like how the native, instead of shooting gibberish like "Ooga booga," speaks perfectly fluent French. "Go!" he shouts. 

I'm sure it was difficult to find photo references for the natives of the islands off of Madagascar back in 1940. Thanks to the magic of the Internet, I found one in a minute-

-and as you can see the artist did get the details about half right, according to the natives of Borneo. 

I'm not going to bother with the rest of the story -- it takes a racist turn as the good guys side with the bad guy to kill a bunch of black people because, you know, it would have been too easy to just turn the bad guy over to them and solve everything without further violence.

So instead we'll just into the next feature, Fantasy Isle (formerly called Tippy Taylor after its star). Tippy is exploring a natural cave complex that may or may not be the entrance to Hades. 

Witches are shown to be pretty dumb and easily fooled here. Demonstrating no special abilities, I think we're going to just ignore this story in any future write-up of witches as a mobstertype. 

Nor should we be very impressed with that grim reaper character who is easily pushed off a bridge. I think I just found another example of fake undead! 

The fairy tale giant seems a genuine threat. I think I need to include a percentage chance of them being encountered a sleep, like D&D dragons.

There are times, I'll confess, when I just want to throw up my hands and quit. To truly emulate some of these comic book stories, every bad guy -- even if it's a giant -- needs to have no more than 3 hit points. Because just about everything goes down in one hit! 

Buck up, Scott. Look! A Potion of Invisibility that doesn't turn your clothes invisible. That's a trophy item we haven't seen before (but looks very familiar from the first live action Fantastic Four movie...).

(Scans courtesy of Comic Book Plus.)

 

 

Amazing Mystery Funnies #19 - pt. 1

Followers of Great Scott! Press are probably aware that I've been working with the Fantom of the Fair much more recently than the last time he came up on this blog. This is ahead of where I am in reprinting his stories and...whew, this one is probably going to need some serious reworking before I would use it. I was never a huge Paul Gustavson fan, but I like his stuff a lot more than whatever fill-in artist this is (I've seen on Comic Book Plus this might be Al Anders or Will Roland). 

I think it's interesting that the Fantom has left New York for Maine because, in my fiction pieces detailing some of his backstory, he came to New York (and the new world) through Newfoundland and spent some time there, and maybe this was him heading back that way. Also -- plug here for the next issue of Funny Picture Stories where that Newfoundland story will be published -- plug plug! 

This is convenient, but also really weird and creepy, that the Fantom was hanging out in this guy's house for no other reason than to eavesdrop on his conversation with himself. 

But how "near" does the Fantom need to be to hear that? There is no exact limit in the rules for distance, but a common sense ruling from any Editor should tell you he would need to be inside the house or just outside an open window from the house at the furthest. But is the Fantom using a spell, like Clairaudience? Or a magic crystal ball off-panel to scry? But that still brings us back to the question: why was the Fantom monitoring this man?

I like the carnival setting because it seems a natural progression from stories set at a fair. 

Just like it's hard to believe the Fantom just happened to hear that conversation, suspecting Professor Trepper was a near-impossible leap in logic without using some sort of magic spell. Divination? 
 

The narration of panel 5 is interesting. Is the narrator unsure if the Fantom was surprised or not, or is only talking from Agar's perspective? 

Trepper has called in some roustabouts to help him, but as soon as one of them goes down the rest all fail their morale save, which was probably a single roll for the whole group. 

We're going to jump off of that pedestrian story and gaze upon the works of Basil Wolverton. Ooooo.  Ahhhhh. Seriously, those panels 5 and 6 are gorgeous. I've got nothing game mechanic-y to say about this page, so just enjoy.

One of the standard tropes of bad science fiction is to take Earth resources, give them an extra adjective, and then try to pass them off as something exotic and alien. True, green diamonds would be something new on Earth and probably really valuable, but what practical value would they have worth interplanetary travel for...?

We now know Mercury stopped being volcanically active 3.5 billion years ago, but Wolverton was right about it having volcanoes!

We learn that atom-needle pistols are more powerful than flame guns.

Thermo armor -- trophy armor that makes the wearer immune to heat damage.

I wonder how much $1 billion will feel like in the future. Assuming inflation never ends, I'm guessing it's going to be worth more like millions today, and that makes interplanetary diamond mining even less plausible. 

But -- oooh! We get a new monster, the vulkite, which looks exactly like an alien wyvern.

Here we get an explanation for what atom-needle pistols can do -- the ammunition explodes (like little atomic bombs?) once they're inside you. That seems like it must do a lot of damage -- at least 4-24? 

We also learn that vulkites have really good Armor Class because of their "heat-hardened hide" -- so maybe 1 point better than a wyvern -- and they are probably immune to heat and fire too. 

It's weird how a wooden door is surviving just fine on Mercury...

Mercurians are sure cool-looking and quite villainous, but stat-wise I can't see any reason in the story to stat them as anything other than human. I mean, he might as well be human since he can't do anything special.

Now, Mercurian Mole-Men, on the other hand, are really sneaky and have "deft movements." I would probably give them a low AC, fast Movement rate, and a good chance to pick pockets or perform sleight of hand.

(Scans courtesy of Comic Book Plus.)

Top-Notch Comics #4 - pt. 5

We're back for one last, short look at Kardak the Mystic Magician as he explores Atlant -- oops, no, this is Anderras, Atlantis' weird cousin. The unusual strain of mermen here are the underseas men; I'm thinking of giving them 2 Hit Dice and maybe a tail swipe attack, though I'm waiting to see them actually fight. 

Underseas men can be found in large numbers; I think I count 54 there? 

Kardak casts Protection from Missiles and Telekinesis, meaning he's at least 7th level.

It is SO hard to take these mocha men seriously, partly because they're horribly drawn and partly because of that ridiculous name. Are they part spider or part coffee bean? 

There are at least 27 mocha men here and the fact that the underseas men are still worried suggests the mocha men are physically tougher. The mocha men have up to four arms; one clearly has only three (maybe a war injury, suggesting he's a higher-level leader?). It's unclear if that band around their torsos is some natural part of their body or some kind of armored cummerbund. And some of them can ride giant spiders (which is pretty cool). 

What is the environment here? Why is there a giant cloud underwater? 

Kardak casts Wall of Fire, meaning he's at least 9th level.

Are the mocha men throwing hi-tech bombs? Maybe that's why they are winning the fight, because they are more technologically advanced than the underseas men? 

Kardak casts Earthquake, meaning he's -- oh, he's just ridiculously high level. 

What is the environment here again?? Are they under an air-filled dome? Is Kardak not concerned about his spell cracking it? 

Speaking of which, are underseas men completely amphibious, if they have air-filled domes? 

And how dumb is everybody if they keep thinking Lorna is casting the spells instead of Kardak? 

And don't think I've forgotten about the giant sea spiders. I'm thinking 3 HD? Maybe even 4? They do beat Kardak, after all. Kardak doesn't seem too worried about the sharks -- maybe they should have tossed him into a pit full of giant sea spiders instead?

 

The implication here seems to be that Kardak needs freedom of movement to cast spells, even though he seems to always be motionless when casting spells. 

Kardak has cast Fog Cloud and Levitate, seemingly at the same time, but he could have cast Fog Cloud first, waited for it to waft up into the room, and then levitated. 

Maybe the craziest part of this story is that Kardak wants to keep Lorna a prisoner down here. Crazy...or creepy? Is he waiting for Stockholm Syndrome to kick in so he has a chance with Lorna?

(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum.)

 

Top-Notch Comics #4 - pt. 4

We're back and looking at the next page of Wings Johnson. Panel 4 looks very dramatic, but playing chicken that close with two airplanes seems like a terrible idea to me. It also gives the impression that facing really doesn't matter in aerial combat -- and in Hideouts & Hoodlums, maybe it shouldn't. In hand-to-hand combat, you don't get a bonus to hit for being right in front of someone; your odds are still about 50/50.

Finding a grenade in your plane seems like a dangerous idea, but in a campaign where trophy items are randomly dropped this makes more sense.

We're going to jump out of that story (nothing is every really resolved in a Wings Johnson story, he just hops from one dire situation straight into the next - as if anticipating how Marvel Comics will work someday!). 

...And we're going to jump ahead to yet another disastrously named comic book character, the laughable Bob Phantom. This particular story isn't too laughable, though, because you're going to be choking on the racism here instead. But if we look past that, we'll see an instance of game mechanics poking through here at the end, where the mobster gets a bonus to his morale save as soon as he knows his boss is listening.

This page gets really dark, as Bob completely fails to save an entire plane-full of people. Are there consequences? Only for the bad guy, as Bob now has an excuse to really cut loose on him.

And here we see something unusual; a superhero using an opponent as his instrument of wrecking things. The H&H rules are really set up to avoid this, mainly for game balance; the superhero is supposed to be good at breaking stuff and the fighter is supposed to be good at hurting people. Now, the superhero can knock a bad guy into a wall, essentially treating the wall as a club, and doing 1-6 points of damage (possibly modified by the superhero's Wisdom bonus). Wrecking things should be a separate action the player would have to wait a turn to do...but suppose the hero was buffed with a power, like Race the Train, that granted him an extra action per turn? Then he could legit wreck the wall at the same time as knocking the mobster into it, though it would confer no additional damage to the mobster. 

And check out the text around that newspaper article! It's the text from a story, but not from a made-up newspaper story. It seems to be cribbed from some piece of fiction. Maybe a text story from another MLJ comic book? I don't read the text stories, so I'm not sure.

I am really hoping that the writer of this story just didn't think it through. All the bad guys want to do is smuggle Chinese citizens into the U.S. Five times Bob has forced the planes to dump their human cargo into the ocean and kill them all. Never once has he teleported into the plane before it takes off, or waits for it to land and then catch the smugglers red-handed. It's really bizarre how Bob's player keeps making the situation worse every time he intervenes, and he just keeps right on doing the same thing each time.

 

You'd guess that pit was, what? Sixty feet deep based on the drawings? It seems unlikely that the boss could survive that fall, but Bob could just teleport down there and check. But this is a comic book story, so Bob would have to save vs. plot to interfere with a villain plunging to her death. 

Walt (it's hard to believe that his real name isn't Bob) goes to great pains here to hide Bob Phantom's involvement in the case, and this seems like it would be up to the personal preference of the player. Maybe it's just as well that there's no Popularity or Reputation mechanic in H&H, because it would hurt the players wanting their characters to act more anonymously.

I'm going to jump into the middle of Stacey Knight, M.D. If you do a good deed, but someone's forcing you to do it, even though you would have done it anyway - do you still get the 100 xp for doing a good deed? It's a question almost as tough as, why did these mobsters leave a kerosene can within reach of their prisoner? 

As dumb as the mobsters are, Stacey's plan is pretty bright. Not only does the fire distract his guards and puts their mobile hideout in jeopardy, but it draws the attention of much-needed help.

 

It's unclear if Stacey can boss the Coast Guard around because of his occupation or because of his level. 

Is that guy on the radio saying "Roosevelt" really slowly or spelling it out? 

The Roosevelt Field?  According to Wikipedia, "Roosevelt Field is a former airport, located 2.3 miles (3.7 km) east-southeast of Mineola, Long Island, New York. Originally called the Hempstead Plains Aerodrome, or sometimes Hempstead Plains field or the Garden City Aerodrome, it was a training field (Hazelhurst Field) for the Air Service, United States Army during World War I.

In 1919, it was renamed in honor of President Theodore Roosevelt's son, Quentin, who was killed in air combat during World War I.

Roosevelt Field was the takeoff point for many historic flights in the early history of aviation, including Charles Lindbergh's 1927 solo transatlantic flight."

Apparently, "auto-giro" is still a legitimate spelling, even though you never see it anymore. 

Good guys can pretty much go around punching bad guys with complete immunity, whereas in real life that cop could also arrest Stacey for assault, and Moriarty could still sue him for the assault even if Moriarty was found guilty of a crime.

And is this the biggest waste of the name Moriarty ever? You're going to use the name of Sherlock Holmes' nemesis on a guy who rigs boxing matches?

 

Before we wrap up this post we're going to take a sneak peek at Kardak, the Mystic Magician. Here we see an unusual type of mermen, for two reasons -- one, they have legs and fishtails, and two, despite obviously being mermen they are never once called mermen. They are referred to as underseas men, fishtails, and Anderrans (after the name of their city, Anderras). 

Oh, and Kardak casts Part Water, so, as commonly happens in comic book magic-user stories, we can expect the high-level spells to come fast and furious...

(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum.)   

Top-Notch Comics #4 - pt. 3

We're still reading Streak Chandler of Mars here, but it's Professor Finlay speaking first. "I might as well tell you now, the landing gear on this ship is not finished! And...while things are getting real, I might as well fess up, there isn't enough air and food on this ship for five of us. Oops!"

The science is typically terrible for a comic book story here. Granted, we didn't know for sure Mars had no breathable atmosphere back in 1940, but we did know the distance to Mars, and there would be no way to fly there in what seems to take only a few hours -- and even if you could, there would be no way to brake hard enough to not be atomized on contact with the surface. 

Streak's player must have rolled pretty low for his Intelligence score. "Is that Mars?" "Gee, Einstein, how many other planets do you think are in this area?"

And things don't get better on the next page, when they are attacked by Martians that look like demonic Elmer Fudds wearing women's bathing suits. As comical as they look, they can shoot heat rays out of their fingertips and that seems impressive, even if they can only hit one out of three targets with them (they are not rays or cones so much as "Magic Missile" spells, from the earliest editions when you had to roll to hit for them). 

Oh Streak. Yep, your plan worked to perfection -- if your plan was to shoot all the oxygen you needed for a return trip out of the ship. 

More impressive are the strange, winged green men (you know, the blue ones) who fight with gas guns and can communicate telepathically.  

 

Oh boy...it looks like I have to add three new mobstertypes to the Mobster Manual, but these are not winners. The green men who are blue are the lokis. The Elmer Fudds are ferrugas. The octopus with a horse head is called a brontauris, which is a terribly unimaginative name. 

So far I haven't seen enough of what the lokis can do to stat them. I haven't seen the ferrugas do much either, other than shoot magic missiles. 

Now, normally, you'd think, of course you're not going to have much luck fighting with just a pocket knife against a horse-headed octopus. But this is a golden age comic book, and almost all animals get killed with a single stab. So these brontaurises must be really tough! I'm thinking at least 4, maybe up to 9 Hit Dice. It obviously attacks by constricting with its tentacles, but it isn't very strong and doesn't seem to do a lot of damage per turn.

Moving on to Wings Johnson of the Air Patrol, we see that wandering encounters can occur with unexpected frequency, Even in the middle of the English Channel you apparently need to roll once per turn. It's also possible to have a house rule that, after 1 wandering encounter, you immediately roll once in the next turn only.

 

Wings is one unlucky guy -- there's not even a game mechanic for accidental wind shear. I'm imagining a scenario playing out like this -- 

Editor: "Welcome to our first solo session of H&H!"

Player: "I want to play an aviator!"

Editor: "...You're sure? You don't want to be a mysteryman? Or superhero?"

Player: "Nope, I want an aviator campaign, and I'm naming him Wings Johnson?"

Editor: "Wings Johnson?"

Player: "Yeah, why?"

Editor: "Well, it's just that your last character was named Dick Storm. And the one before that was Spurt Hammond..."

Player: "I don't see where you're going with this."

Editor: "Fine. You know...fine! You want an aviator campaign? Wings Johnson is flying home over the English Channel in a German plane when...two British planes try to shoot him down!"

Player: "Don't I have some kind of pass code I can radio to them...?"

Editor: "There's no time! Because...As you fly low to evade them...a sub surfaces right in front of you!"

Player: "What die do I roll to--"

Editor: "And then your wing falls off!"

Player (excited): "Whoa!"

[After 3 hours of successful dice rolls]

Player: "Best session ever!"

Editor: *sighs*

Back to the comic (I think that was my longest digression ever)!

We pick up with Wings climbing his tangled parachute and we're told it's cutting up his hands really bad. Okay, I guess I can believe that would happen, but how do we handle that in-game? It seems too important to wave off as flavor text, as it could make him lose his grip and plunge to his death. I'm thinking the pain should cause a save vs. science to avoid losing his grip, but should the pain itself be flavor text, or 1 point of damage? It's got to be the Editor's call.

The bottom tier of panels does make me wish I had a Popularity or Reputation mechanic in H&H. I know I've talked about it and toyed with it before, but I don't think I have ever worked out anything concrete yet.

 

Not having any military experience, I had to look up to see if "officer of the day" was a real thing. According to Wikipedia, "a duty officer or officer of the day is a position that is assigned to a worker on a regularly rotational basis. While on duty, duty officers attend to administrative tasks and incidents that require attention regardless of the time of day, in addition to the officer's normal duties."

Which, I suppose, now makes it seem odd to me that the officer of the day who is responsible largely for administrative tasks is being put in charge of the arrest here.

Wings isn't wrong; the Spitfire was the fastest plane on the Allied side and would remain so for the next few years. The Germans would soon have a faster plane, the Messerschmitt Me 163 Komet rocket plane, but that's a year from "now."

(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum.)