Feature Funnies #8 - pt. 1

Today marks our first story from May 1938 -- one month before Superman! -- as well as the first post in my next 200 posts. So, to mark the occasion, we're going to play a new game called Can It Do a Point of Damage?

No, Nippie, cat scratches may hurt, but an ordinary-sized cat's claws can't kill a human and you can't take a point of damage from it.  Man up, Nippie!

Yes, Nippie, falling can kill you -- but the game mechanic is abstracted to 1d6 damage per 10' fallen. But, since Nippie appears to be less than 10' off the ground, he's actually perfectly safe and hasn't taken a point of damage.

That looks painful, Uncle Phil -- but is it a point of damage? Although Phil appears to be falling sideways, and would take no damage from that normally, one could also make the case that he was clubbing himself in the head with stationary objects for comedic effect. If that's the case, then perhaps he could be taking 1d6 damage. Sadly, that poor black man will take 1d6 damage from an improvised thrown club weapon as well.

We also get a little history lesson here, reminding us that there was a time before bowling pins were reset by machines.

No, Nippie. A lobster's pincers may hurt, but not enough to do a point of damage. Maybe you should just stop being such a big baby!

Goat joke #11.  We've already established that goats can do 1d4 points of damage, Uncle Phil. You didn't have to go through that for us!

Sorry, Nippie, you can't take a point of damage from a clock face popping off and bonking you in the face. Now...had this been a trap, set up to spring the face out with lethal force against anyone messing with the clock, then yes, it could have done 1d6 point of damage.

No, you can't take a point of damage from a spanking -- at least not administered by anyone with normal human strength (a superhero or an ogre could probably spank you for damage, but even in the latter case I'd be inclined to limit it to 1-3 points). You might from the fall into the sewer, depending on how far down the bottom is.



(Scans courtesy of Digital Comic Museum)